Flash-Back Poem

This is a flash-back post: meaning it's something I wrote or experienced in the past, i.e. flashback :) On September 22, 2005 my step-father suffered a major heart attack and passed away from this life in an instant. I never got to say goodbye which still is just so hard to deal with even 5 years later. He was one of the most important people in my life and I still struggle with grief from time to time. But just as the scripture says, I do not grieve as those who have no hope. I know that I will see him again and I wait anxiously for that day while I finish what God has called me to do here in this world. I wrote this poem shortly after he died as a way to attempt to express my grief. I have never shared it with anyone, and it's not really that good, but it is from my heart and if it encourages someone else who may be dealing with grief than it's worth sharing. :o)

You left without saying a word
It turned my life upside down
You didn’t even say goodbye
You just left me here to drown

I’m trudging through life’s agony
With a gaping hole deep within
Looking for something, anything
That can bring the slightest grin

How do I go on with my life
Now that your not here
In an instant, brief and harsh
I realized my greatest fear.

And yet, I must go on.
Life doesn’t stop for my grief.
So, I seek an answer
In the source of all relief.

Jesus is my ROCK,
His strength just won’t retreat.
He holds me when I’m weak
He doesn’t know defeat.

When emotion overwhelms me,
And I’m lost without a light,
I fall in Jesus’ loving arms
And hold on with all His might.

It’s not my strength that holds me up;
I cannot stand alone.
It’s the Peace and Hope that Jesus gives,
And I claim it for my own.

Life has ended here on Earth
For my dear father, taken from me.
But I know without a doubt
That his face again I’ll see.

We’ll walk down those golden streets
Together arm in arm
And catch up on all that’s happened
Since that fatal day of harm.

We’ll laugh and cry and make some jokes,
Just like we used to do.
Except this time it will be forever,
Beyond the bright, bright blue.

Paul A. Belmarez
2/6/60 - 9/22/05