Do you ever feel like you're so busy "doing" the Christian life that it is becoming overwhelming?
Many times over the years I have felt this weariness, the feeling that I'm doing too much and it's dragging me down. But how can it drag me down when it's all good things and I'm doing them for the Lord? Or am I? I have recently found myself yet again feeling the weight of ministry and spiritualism. I am drowning in Bible Studies, running from one church activity to the next, trying to minister along the way to anyone God brings in my path. My heart is in the right place, in that I desperately want everyone to experience the awesome power of God in their lives. I want to make sure each person I know has a personal relationship with Jesus Christ so I pour myself into trying to reach everyone I can. The problem is that in the midst of all the busyness of doing the Christian life, I have somehow lost the personal fellowship with my Lord.
What's the difference, you ask? The difference is all the other GOOD stuff that needs to be done, is not the same as spending one on one time with the God of the universe. It is not the same as my daily time talking to God through prayer and listening to Him through the reading of His Word. It doesn't matter how much preaching I listen to, how many Bible Studies I attend, how many people I counsel, how many lives God allows me to minister to.... none of that matters if I neglect the most important relationship in my life! Over the course of the last 6-12 months I have been on a journey to re-discover that personal one-on-one relationship with the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. I have such a deep hunger for the Word and a desire to learn everything I can from the Bible. For the first time in my life I am over halfway through reading the entire scriptures! My journey is by no means over, it won't be until I reach my home in Heaven. And I won't quit all the other "stuff" that I'm doing unless God tells me to. I believe that I am involved right where He is calling me to be. However, I don't ever want to lose the fellowship with my Lord again. If that is lacking then I am doing all the other things in my own strength and not His, and I will be completely ineffective for the cause of Christ.
I pray that God works through me when and how He see's fit in all the areas of my life. As a wife, a mother, a church leader, and whatever else God calls me to. Psalm 40:1-3 say "I waited patiently for the Lord; and He inclined to me, and heard my cry. He also brought me up out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my steps. He has put a new song in my mouth-Praise to our God; Many will see it and fear, and will trust in the Lord."
May I never forget what God has brought me out of and may I always praise Him with a new song!