Why Are Kids So Mean?!

It always amazes me how mean kids can be.  They are just so cruel sometimes!  One of my children was very distraught again this week, over a "friend" that continues to make fun of them for their beliefs, personality, and even their parents.  (I don't know what that's about, they have awesome parents!)  ;)

The worst part about it for me is that it's a christian kid, from a good family.  Oh, I know better than anyone that kids will be kids and we can't expect them to be perfect just because they're being raised right.  My kids have their fair share of "childhood" that we deal with.  But, is it too much to ask that they be kind to each other?  I know, I am probably being too sensitive about this issue.  I instantly have flash backs to my childhood, where I didn't fit in at all and developed an almost defensive attitude toward those who relentlessly teased me.  I can look back now and see that the majority of them didn't mean anything by it, and I probably came off sounding just as bad at times.  I am just struggling to know how to teach that to my children.

Those of you who know me, know that I don't pretend to have all the answers.  There are times that I just need others to walk with me, just like you do.  So, I want to know how you handle this from a Biblical perspective.  How do you help your children cope with being made fun of?  How do you know when they are just being overly sensitive and when you need to step in and do something?

Share your wisdom HERE and thanks for allowing me to be real!  :)

Transformed 2014: Do Desperate Times Really Call for Desperate Measures?

This past weekend, I had the privilege and honor of speaking to hundreds of women from Indiana at the Transformed Women's Retreat.  This was my first time teaching outside of my own church and I was quite nervous about going into something this big.  The voices in my heart that try to win me over tell me that I'm not mature enough for something this big, I'm not old enough, I don't know enough, haven't had enough training, blah blah blah blah blah.  I have to literally rip those voices out of myself and fill my heart with the truth of God's Word.

 "He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it." "Let no man despise your youth but be an example to the believers."  "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." "You are My servant;  I have chosen you and have not cast you away.  Fear not, for I am with you;  be not dismayed for I am your God.  I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand." "Gods word will not return to Him void, but will accomplish His will."

This is the voice of Truth, the voice of God spoken through His Word.  So, I went and spoke God's words, not my own.  We talked about the things that God allows in our lives that we just can't handle on our own.  We looked at God's word to see how we can possibly prepare our hearts for those times so that instead of thrashing in the sinking sand, desperately grasping for something, anything to hold onto we can instead stand firm on solid ground and withstand the hurricane that roars around us.  Do you know, I think that I was blessed more by the women who came to listen than they were by me.  So many women who are hurting and came to me after to share that hurt with me.  What an honor to be able to pray for these precious sisters in Christ!  I wish I could minister to all of them every day.

I can't be with you all physically, but I do have a way that we can stay in touch and continue the conversation.  I have begun posting, in depth, the message God sent me with on my discussion board.  You can read the threads there and talk to me about what God is doing in your heart.  Let me know how I can continue to pray for you!

Just go to http://aboverubies.freeforums.net/board/10/desperate-times-call-measures to get involved.

If you were at Transformed and came to one of my sessions, I just want to tell you what a blessing you were to me!  And for those that came to me, just hurting so much, please know that I am absolutely praying for you to know God in a deeper way as He takes you through your pain.

It's Not Fair!

My kids and I had a conversation this week about fairness among siblings. They have a lot of friends, and they see that everyone has a different parenting style. One such difference are those parents who have to make sure everything is "even steven" among their kids. If one person gets a gift, then they all have to get a gift, etc. As we talked about that, I shared with my children why I don't play the fair game with them. In just a few short years, they are going to be out in the world, living an adult life. We only get "about" 18 years to get them ready for the next 80. I take that very seriously, wanting to make sure that my kids are very well prepared. When they get into their adult life, and they go to college or get a job, nothing is going to be fair. Their bum co-worker is going to get promoted because he took all the credit for their hard work. Somebody is going to cheat off of their paper and they will be the ones to take the heat for it. They will have to work very hard to pay the bills and put food on the table while others don't lift a finger and have everything handed to them. Life is not fair. If we don't teach our children this fact from the very beginning, we are setting them up for a life of discouragement and defeat. In our home, we have purposefully done things differently for each child from the time they were born. For example: When I am out running errands, I might pick something up at the grocery store for one of my kids because it is just a perfect and affordable "just because" gift for them. I don't get the other kids anything that day. Another example: We do not set age requirements for privileges. Peter got a phone when he turned 11. That does not mean that the girls will get a phone when they're 11. Bethany just turned 11, and did not get phone service. She did however, get my old Iphone when she was 10 because it's just how it worked out. Chloe has nothing yet. Life's not even, life's not fair. Is it difficult sometimes to teach this lesson? Absolutely! There are days that I want to cave and go buy Chloe an Ipod so she doesn't feel left out. But if I do that now, she will go on expecting people to cater to her and make things "fair" in her mind for the rest of her life, and I love her too much to let her go into adulthood with that mindset.  Life isn't about being fair.  Wanting things to be fair is a very self-centered way of looking at life.  

This satisfied my children's questions, until the next time they think something isn't fair.  I just try to make sure my children know that we do what we do for their good, not just to make them miserable.  So far, they seem to appreciate it as much as a 10, 11, and 12 year old can!


How do you teach your kids about fairness?  Join the discussion at: http://aboverubies.freeforums.net/thread/15/fair#ixzz2sH9c6EM4