Thursday, August 19, 2010
Why Are Girls So Mean?
I recently read an article in a magazine about a teenage girl who committed suicide. She was a beautiful, intelligent, and loving girl who always enjoyed life. The article depicted something that I see in a lot of teenage girls; a completely unwarranted mean streak. This girl had moved here from another country and, because of what could only be construed as pure jealousy, the “popular” kids in school tore this girl down almost from day one. The horrible words that were spoken to her and the cruelty that was demonstrated to her through gossip, backbiting, and other verbal abuse drove this happy, beautiful girl to take her own life. By the time I finished reading the article I was completely in tears. What really had me so upset was the fact that I see this kind of ruthless behavior in so many teen’s lives that it’s not even close to funny. This leads me to my question, why are girls so mean? I used to ask my mom this question when I came home from school as a kid. For some reason I always felt like the odd ball. I was always picked last for teams, I was very often made fun of, and if I wasn’t being point blank made fun of then I was being tormented in some way by fellow students. Her answer was the same as any mom’s would have been; they’re just jealous, there’s nothing wrong with you, it’s probably just your imagination, I’m sure they like you. Well, regardless of the reasons behind teenage girls behaving like vipers, I for one am fed up with hearing it happen. How many more girls are out there who are being verbally and emotionally abused every single day from these girls?! You want to know the real kicker about my experience with this? Shhhhh… I went to a CHRISTIAN School! That’s right, surrounded on every side by other Christians, most of whom had parents who were very active in their church, I was still treated like the kid nobody wanted. I’ve seen girls in the various youth groups I’ve worked with exhibit these same despicable qualities and it is absolutely appalling to me! If you are a girl who is getting picked on ruthlessly, I beg you to talk to your parents, your youth leader, or another Christian leader who you respect. Find someone who will help you find your identity in Christ, because that is all that matters! God made you so special, and there can only ever be one of you! Please, please, please do not allow these horrible girls to tear down your spirit. Stay in the Word of God every day, memorize it, and draw close to God so He can guard your heart. Satan wants nothing more than to use these girls to devastate you so that all you can think about is how hurt you are instead of how you can reach others with the Gospel of Christ. Don’t let him win! Practice what the Bible teaches about returning good for evil. Put all of your energy into being kind to the very ones who are hurting you and see what God does. He loves you and has an incredible plan for your life. If you happen to be a girl that spends her time tearing other girls down just so you can feel superior, SHAME ON YOU! God didn’t create you any better than her, He has a specific plan for how He made you just like He does for her. If you were truly secure in your identity in Jesus Christ, then you would have absolutely no need to tear anyone else down. God tells us in His Word to love our neighbor as ourselves and to be kind to one another. Gossiping (either talking or listening), slander, backstabbing, malicious words, hateful talk; all of this is sin and it is time that Christian girls stand up in their faith and put all of these behaviors far away from them. If you truly believe that Jesus died for the world because He loves the whole world, then you should be looking at everyone with the same love that Jesus has. Why on earth would you treat anyone in such a hateful way, when Jesus loves them the same as He loves you? It is time for a “come-to-Jesus” moment girls! Examine your hearts and be brutally honest with yourself and with God. Are you someone who’s always tearing people down, especially those you don’t like? Or, are you an encourager, always building people up and being a good friend. Confess your sin today and go make things right with the people you’ve hurt. The bottom line: Show me a girl who constantly tears others down with her words and actions and I will show you a girl who does not know who she is or what she's here for. Learn who you are in Christ, and you will learn how to build others up instead of tearing them down. Learn who you are in Christ, and you won't be bothered by the hatefulness of others.