How Distracted Are You?

World hunger.  Disease.  Orphans.  Poverty.  Crime.  Abuse.  Disaster.  These are just a few of the billions of problems in our world today.  It doesn't matter what city you live in, just take a walk down any street and you will find SOMETHING that needs to be done.  Someone will need food, a new roof, the driveway shoveled, a tire changed.  Walk further and you'll find a woman who needs to get out of a dangerous situation.  You'll see children being mistreated.  Keep going.... what else do you see?

You might think that this post is going to be all about social justice, prodding you to do more to help all these people.  Get involved, join a cause, help everyone!  Well, I am sorry to disappoint, but what I have to say is quite the opposite.  Sort of.

Overwhelmed.  Scattered.  Disoriented.  Frazzled.  These words describe the person who is constantly busy "doing good" for others.  I'm talking about the "Martha's" out there.  Those women who work all day in the kitchen and then get mad that they didn't get to just "visit".  It's those who give a dollar at every bank, every grocery store, every gas station every time they have a fund raiser to help feed the starving children.  It's the mom who spends every second of every day doing things for her family.  "Martha's" tend to always be on the go, always busy, and most of the time they wear it as a badge of honor.  I'm not saying that it's wrong to give, to help, or to serve.  On the contrary, we are called to  give, help, and serve, but we are not called to EVERY need.

Before you quit reading, let me share what God's Word says and explain why this is on my heart.

Luke 10:38-42 "Now it happened as they went that He (Jesus) entered a certain village;  and a certain woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house.  And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus' feet and heard His word.  But Martha was DISTRACTED WITH MUCH SERVING, and she approached Him and said, 'Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone?  Therefore tell her to help me.'  And Jesus answered and said to her, 'Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things.  But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.'"     

I capitalized the words "distracted with much serving" because it's a tendency I have and that's what has spurred on this post.  Most women read this passage and relate themselves as either a "Mary" or a "Martha".  I believe that we should be both.  Jesus didn't tell Martha not to serve, nor did He tell Mary to get up and help.  He had to show Martha in this moment that she was DISTRACTED with her service.  She had let the kitchen work get in the way of spending quality time with Him. 

There are a lot of "service" opportunities in this world, but we have to focus on hearing from the Lord to allow Him to guide our steps.  He will call us to service, and we need to obey and follow His call.   Jesus does not measure our worth based on what we do or how much we do.  We were worth dying for while we were still living in our sin. (Romans 5:8)  If Jesus loved us enough to die for us, even while we were rejecting Him, then how could He possibly love us any more?  Nothing I do in service is going to add merit to my life in the eyes of Christ.  Because I have trusted in Jesus Christ as my savior, I am covered by His righteousness and that is how God see's me, regardless of how many "good things" I am doing.   It is very easy for us as Christians to fall into the trap of being "distracted with much service".  That's why it's so important to choose only what God has placed before us.  Let God make your schedule each day.  He won't overload you.  (Matthew 11:28-30)

I haven't posted anything since May.  God has been teaching me so much since He changed our lives this year.  I have had to adjust as He re-directed my life and priorities.  I was becoming overwhelmed by things that I never thought would bother me.  This is where I had to come back to: Balance.  Doing only what God gives me to do each day. Accepting that I can't do every little thing that I see needs to be done. I can't help everyone in every situation.  I have to trust God in my home, my church, and my career and follow only the steps He gives me each and every day.  When I sit at His feet to hear His word,  He shows me what He wants me to do. 

What are you distracted with that is taking you away from your relationship building time with God?  Are you overwhelmed with "doing good"?  When's the last time you simply sat as His feet and heard His word?   

You Don't Need a Cape to be a SUPER Mom!

Why do we have this image of motherhood that requires a red “super-mom” cape to fulfill?  You know what it looks like:  Wake up hours before everyone else so that we can get our shower, get dressed, do our hair, put on some makeup and get breakfast started before the kids wake up.  Then, do the few pieces of laundry from yesterday because we can’t possibly let it get behind.  After feeding the kids the daily breakfast of champions we help them pick out their clothes so they match and look cute, then we do their hair up in curls and pins just perfectly.  We get the kids to school and begin our busy day of shopping, errands, cooking and cleaning all with the baby in tow.  You’ve cut every coupon known to man and ended up getting paid by the grocery stores to take their food home.  More laundry, vacuuming, dusting, clean the toilets, make the beds, iron your husband’s work shirts, feed the baby, change a dozen diapers, let the dog out, let the dog in, let him out again, cook up some meals for a few new moms at church, and get dinner prepped before jumping in the mini-van again to go get the kids from school.  Then it’s time to help with homework, kids chores that you already pre-did for them, cook supper, set the table, clean it all up, bring out dessert, give the kids a bath (Every. Single. Night.) read them stories, sing them songs, tuck them in, get them a drink of water, tuck them in again, let them go potty, tuck them in again, clean the house again now that they are finally asleep, set up your to-do list for tomorrow and fall in to bed exhausted MAYBE having time to ask your husband how his day went.

  

Does anyone REALLY live like that?

I think there are moms that truly believe that this is how they must live every day in order to be the best mom in the world and I blame it on social media.  Here’s how it works.  Your friend posts an image online with a cute little quip about motherhood.  The image looks like it belongs in a GAP catalog.  You assume that this one single snapshot in her life is an accurate picture of what goes on 24/7.  Suddenly, that off centered picture of your daughters homemade birthday cake you posted last night makes you feel a little second rate.  We start playing the comparison game and the “super-mom” cape gets heavier and heavier.  Before we know it, we’re doing all these cool “mom” things that look good online but we’re too exhausted to really enjoy our children. 

Ladies, it’s time to turn in our capes.  I am not a “super-mom”.  The cape is too heavy for me to wear.  I’m not strong enough to live up to the ideal in my head of what the perfect mom is supposed to look like, and neither are you.  I want you to take off the cape, roll it up in a ball, and toss it down to the ground.  You can’t wear that cape without eventually falling under the pressure of it’s weight.  I know.  I’ve tried.

One of my favorite Bible verses is 2 Corinthians 12:9.  Jesus says “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.”  I am not a perfect mom.  I make mistakes. Every. Day.  I could choose to live under the red cape, always adding more and more pressure to this already heavy job of motherhood.  I could let fear drive me to go overboard in every area of parenting.  OR I can trust that His grace is sufficient for me.  Because of HIS GRACE, I will not ruin my children.  Because of HIS GRACE, I can let the laundry go without feeling guilty.  Because of HIS GRACE, my meals will nourish my children even when they come from a box instead of the earth.  Because of HIS GRACE, my efforts to raise godly children will be blessed even when I make so many mistakes.  It’s because of HIS GRACE that I am a good mom.  It’s because of HIS GRACE that my children say I’m “super”.  It’s ALL BECAUSE OF HIS GRACE and has absolutely nothing to do with that big, heavy, ugly cape I tried to sport around for so many years.

Are you exhausted under the weight of your cape?  Do you know Jesus?  Don’t be discouraged! He’ll take your cape and He’ll offer you unlimited GRACE.  His grace IS sufficient for you!   

To moms of babies:  I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but diapers and late night feedings are only temporary.  Soak in the snuggle time while you can.  God’s grace is sufficient for you.

To moms of small children:  Siblings fight, it’s not just your kids.  Your efforts don’t go unnoticed, they appreciate what you do but don’t always know how to express it.  God’s grace is sufficient for you.

To moms of teens:  Hormones are rough, your teen isn’t trying to hurt you.  They really are listening so keep communicating.  God’s grace is sufficient for you.

To moms of adults:  You aren’t held accountable for their choices.  They still value your input and support even if they don’t always agree or follow your advice.  God’s grace is sufficient for you.

To working moms:  Don’t beat yourself up for not having the house clean all the time.  Your kids know you love them even when the laundry’s behind and you don’t make 4 course meals every day.  God’s grace is sufficient for you.

To stay at home moms:  You’re doing enough.  Don’t let anyone make you feel like you don’t do enough.  You do so much for your children, make sure you don’t neglect your own needs. It’s ok to take time out for yourself.   God’s grace is sufficient for you.

To single moms:  You don’t have to fill two roles.  Just be the mom God created you to be for your kids and trust Him with the rest.  God’s grace is sufficient for you.

To homeschool moms:  You’re giving your kids a great education.  Their grades are not a reflection on you anymore than my kids grades are a reflection on their teachers.  Some kids just aren’t scholastics and some are.  It’s ok.  Doing double duty as mom and teacher is especially heavy, but you don’t have to live up to anyone else’s standard.  God’s grace is sufficient for you.

To all moms:  What you do matters!  Your children love you for you who are, not for the images you portray to the rest of the world.  They love you for your hugs, for your unconditional love, and for your support of them.  Let go of the cape.  GOD’S GRACE IS SUFFICIENT FOR YOU.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!